suddenly cold. suddenly v sad. it was nice to sleep next to someone last weekend. i’m an idiot.
i feel really sad and lonely and stupid and like maybe i definitely fuck things up with people i actually genuinely like by being overly enthusiastic way too often (as in, i think i’ve scared away the last three boys who have liked me). i think i need to take a break from tumblr by proxy. i’m gonna read and paint for a while while i train for this new job ok.
i had to find/go into my wallet to find my ss card to use for filling out paperwork at new job but i hardly ever use/open my wallet and in it i found: a borders rewards card, a blockbuster card, metro cards that expired in 09, 10, 11, 12 (haha remember when i used to off and on date someone in nyc and spent all my $$ going out there like every other week until they dumped me the first night on a trip out there), and several trading cards about me (for some reason trading cards were a popular motif early on in my montserrat experience and for another reason i guess people wanted to make one about me often).
time to close/lose my wallet for another year
a dumb half asleep list
i drew a lot of things today and played some video games and made guac and worked out and my wrist is killing me. i really need to invest in a brace and probably actually visit the doctor. shoutout to all my favourite things in life being leading causes of carpal tunnel